How to Torture Your Teacher
by Bruce Lansky
Only raise your hand when
you want to sharpen your pencil
or go to the bathroom.
Repeat every ten minutes.
Never raise your hand
when you want to answer a question;
instead, yell, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!"
and then, when the teacher calls on you,
say, "I forgot what I was going to say."
Lean your chair back,
take off your shoes, and
put your feet up on your desk.
Act surprised when the teacher
puts all four legs of your chair back on the floor.
Drop the eraser end of your pencil
on your desk. See how high it will bounce.
Drop your books on the floor.
See how loud a noise you can make.
Hum. Get all your friends to join in.
Hold your nose,
make a face, and say, "P.U.!"
Fan the air away from your face,
and point to the kid in front of you.
On the last day of school,
lead your classmates in chanting:
"No more pencils!
No more books!
No more teachers’ dirty looks!"
Then, on your way out
the door, tell the teacher,
"Bet you’re looking forward to summer vacation this year.
But I’ll sure miss you.
You’re the best teacher I’ve ever had."
This week's Poetry Thursday idea was to find a funny poem- this was one that made me giggle. There are a lot of teachers in my life - my mom and dad, my big brother, my little sister will be next year, some of my best friends- so this felt familiar to me. For some reason, that joke gets me everytime! I can picture some cute, cheeky kid using it as an excuse and getting away with it! I love it! And the poem sums it up so well, he's captured the mind of a child perfectly! For other giggles and poems head over here.
So happy it's thursday already, the weekend is needed. It's been wet and cloudy this week for a change and I find myself feeling so sleepy from the heavy air. Of course, it seems to pass almost as soon as I leave work...hmmm.
6 comments:
I love the poem M, it's every kid's ideas about how to piss off their teacher.
Especially:
"bet you're looking forward to summer vacation this year"
Brilliant find
This really made me giggle :-)
this poem was SO FUN.
wonderful choice!
this made me smile...
so much fun!
Great poem - it made me giggle! But I wish my students had only done these things to torture me - mine were much more hard core!!
my da and sister are both techers and i hear this from them all the time, as i'm sure you do too?
great poem-god teachers really don't get paid enough
:)
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