When I started this post today, I was going to write about staying positive and learning to let go because its something I think a hell of a lot about. And with R waiting for 6 months now to get permission to work in this country, letting go and letting it happen as its meant to be was always at the forefront- and finally started to get very difficult. Especially after we went to an open house at his new workshop on the weekend (the original one he was hired to work in burnt down over Christmas, just part of the saga!). Seeing the inspiring new space, meeting his bosses and all the interesting and lovely people he's going to be working with was such a treat. It felt like a wonderful community to be a part of and we both were feeling positive and alive that our life was unfolding this way. Of course, my negative mind didn't want me to let my guard down...dont' get too positive, or the bad stuff will find a way in! Does this happen to anyone else? I just kept trying to remember to let go, I am not in control, and we will survive no matter what happens.
Well, I guess someone or something was listening to me (to us!) and decided to end my mental and emotional struggle...his paperwork came through today!!!!!! How excited am I? Are we?? I am so so proud of this amazing man I get to love and be loved by. He's been through a long, hard wait and now we finally have some positive news!! He's survived relatively unscathed and with such grace. He still has more paperwork to go through, but this was the big hurdle, the one we've been aching for, were scared of as well as eager for all at once. Champagne all around!
It just goes to show me, once again, that worrying and hypothesizing and "what if-ing" my way through life is such a waste of energy. This is a lesson I have been presented with many, many times, but still need to learn it...hopefully now I can finally start to believe. Believe that we are meant to be together and nothing (even borders and nationalities) is going to force us apart. Believe that life can be what you want it to be, as long as you are willing to do the work and trust in yourself. Believe that I deserve to be happy and to have good things happen to me. Believe in myself and my ability to cope, with whatever I need to deal with. Believe in the friendliness and possibilities of the Universe. I mean, I have had no shortage of good things happening to me through my short 30 year old life, but for some reason, I struggle to believe, every time. Am I alone in this? I hope not!! Any advice on how to remember??
This is such a gift, such a joy and I cannot wait to get home and celebrate with him. Life felt like it had to wait to begin on so many levels for us here until this paperwork came through- now it can. The possibilities are endless and I am ecstatic!! I am so lucky and so blessed... I always remember that.
4 comments:
Hi M! thanks for visiting my blog -- I love finding new names in my comments! Just seeing your blog for the first time and not sure the details of your story, but congratulations on the good news! My best friend (American) fell in love with a Dutchman and moved there to be with him and there was a long period of waiting for her to be able to work, and it just about drove her crazy, being dislocated and having so much time on her hands. But she got through it and has lived there for years now, and happily. I wish the same for you two!
Yay! will write more later, but Madam is on my lap. :)
soooo thrilled for you two!!
i love this picture of you both. so beautiful.
advice? from one worry wart to another...just keep chanting all the goodness you listed here on a daily basis and perhaps it will distract you from the worrying!
celebrating you both...
When I was little, I just wanted to fall in love and get married and I thought it would all be so easy. Being with someone from another country is so much more complicated than it has to be. We're just at the beginning of figuring all of that out. I'll know where to ask questions though! Glad things are finally looking up!
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