Lighter mind, heavier head

This is one of Louise L. Hay's Wisdom Cards, think its pretty fitting for this week- not only for me but for everyone! I've noticed a few posts on anger today, including one of my favorite bloggers, Andrea the Superhero. (She was the first blog I ever read, got me completely hooked!!) It still amazes me to read about other women dealing with similar issues all over the world. It makes me feel much less lost and alone. Thank you all for sharing!

And the comments on my blog from my gentle venting of yesterday were so appreciated. Knowing I'm understood- wow, what a gift. I did do the journaling exercise and I feel so much lighter today- like I have removed a weight I've been dragging around for awhile. It was an enlightening experience as well, bringing up many surprises. It felt good to be able to get angry at people from my past, who will never know- a compromise, in a way, with myself. No confrontation, but closure and release. I have a feeling I may need to do it a few more times to clear all my past grievances, but it was a brilliant start! And I definitely made some major headway. I found a lot of common reasons for the anger- like feeling used and taken advantage of, not being recognized as being good enough, trying to squash my strengths instead of celebrating them. And I allowed it to happen as well- not that I'm turning the emotion to blame against myself- I didn't know any better, but I learned from every single experience. Isn't that what its all about?? I'm going to write down all their names on paper and tear it up and let it blow away in the wind- or something equally as tangible- to let it go!

I've decided I don't have to be someone people can fix or extremely successful in order to gain attention from them. I can just be me. Loving myself unconditionally, like I am so lucky to be by R, is my goal from now on. Celebrating my gifts and quirks and ideas and even my issues and weaknesses. Not apologizing for who I am and the fact that I live life differently. Not trying to fit into a mold created by someone else. Feeling good enough exactly how I am. Just like all of my blog sisters are! I was afraid to get angry back then becasue I didn't know any better- I thought that was who I was, the version they had created in their minds. But I am learning, all the time, that I don't have to sacrafice who I am anymore. Wow, this is pretty big stuff. Might need some time to process through it all. I love blogging!!

I also discovered that part of my melancholy yesterday was that I was coming down with a head cold (hence the title). I thought it might just be allergies, but its become a bit more than that today. Stuffed up and a bit poohey really. It seems to come and go, but hopefully it won't be around long. I've only got two and a half weeks left before the SunRun, so need to be training. I've come to accept that I will probably need to walk some of the 10km, but I'll just be happy to do it. I just looked at the site- there's $45,000 runners registered already- holy #$@*&, that's amazing!! I've decided I'm going to do the Breast Cancer run in October too- its only 5km (I think) and for such a good cause.